Re-Creating Myself Everyday

[dchoneyb916]

Re-Creating Myself Everyday

As hard as it is to believe, we are offically 114 days into 2008 with only 252 days left. How are your New Year's resolutions? Have you foresaken them? Should I even ask? Did you make any resolutions? I didn't. I resolved a long time ago to have New Day Resolutions. By this, I mean that everyday is a new chance to get something right that went astray the day before. Why wait until a new year or a Monday to start fresh? I try to re-create myself everyday.

This morning I rose at 5:05 am. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought about all the ways I make myself happy. These are the things I determined:

* I am beautiful on the inside and outside.
* I do not need to rely on outside sources of feedback to feel good.
* My mind is the only that will create my true potiental.
* I am only what I believe I am.

I then took some long, deep breaths and told myself that it was going to be a great day. I showered and welcomed all the clear thoughts that normally visit me during the wonderful morning ritual. Maybe its the water hitting my body or steam clearing my pores, but I have the most incrediable, positive, productive, and self-affirming thoughts while taking a hot shower.

While in the car, I found that traffic was light. But it didn't matter, because I was happy to be in my car listening to my book on CD. This is my time to listen to affirmations and words of wisdom over and over again. I often get tired of the same old jokes and same old music on the morning radio shows. I would rather fill my head with things that will help me get through the day and get through life. A couple of my favorite books on CD include, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind and Skinny Bitch. I don't have the authors off-hand--so Google the titles if you are interested.

In case you are wondering, all of this started yesterday because it wasn't such a great day. Sometime around noon, I realized that I am probably a little more stressed and depressed than I orginially thought. And due to my grey mood, I ate too much--too often. By the end of the day, I was sick of food. Not sick to my stomach, just sick at the thought of eating again. I had eaten and snacked so many times, that thinking about food made me want to vomit.

So what did I do? I capped off the day with a trip to Subway for a seafood sub on wheat bread (the bread started to get "stuck" so I ate around it) and then to my mom's for coconut pie. Then I passed out sitting straight up in my mother's arm chair. One day I will tell you about my mother and how this was probably the worst environment for me to be in considering I was already feeling miserable. And while this might not sound like a binge to most of you, it was for me. It's never about what I eat. It's about how and why. I ate it fast so didn't enjoy it, and I ate it mindlessly due to emotional hunger.

So I don't have an answer for you. I don't even know if today will truly be better. All I can say, is that I am going to try. And I am going to try to not feel guilty about my actions yesterday. It happens to everyone.

I will keep you posted....